At this point, rasanya aku boleh dilabel antara manusia paling insecure di muka bumi ni.
Everything scares me.
Entah bila aku balik macam dulu. I mean, in a good way, minus all the bads!
Do you know the moment when you feel like everywhere and everything is not safe for you? It keeps bothering me 'cause I can't stop thinking about it and had to be cautious 24/7. All the time.
Rasa selamat ja bila sudah masuk dalam rumah, masuk dalam bilik sendiri. Baru rasa lega.
Kadang rasa penat juga bila rasa begini. Takut, risau sepanjang masa.
Mahu sangat jadi macam orang lain yang beransur-ansur sudah boleh hidup macam biasa.
Tapi aku?
Rasa tidak selamat setiap masa. Kadang sampai tidak boleh berhenti menangis. Rasa tidak mahu keluar rumah pun.
That's me now.
Aku cuma keluar untuk ke sekolah, atau untuk sesuatu yang betul-betul penting dan memerlukan.
Honestly, I forgot when was the last time I went out just to have fun.
It could be a good thing, or not really.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not being thankful for what I have right now, I just.....need to vent out...how I feel...
Dear self, please be okay...
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