BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM...
I'm gonna be ok. I sure will. I need to fight this. A little bit more. Till it ends.
Saturday, 17 May 2014
Sunday, 11 May 2014
5 (my shopping diary~)
BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM...
WHAT'S UP PARTY PEOPLE?!!!! HOW Y'ALL DOIN'???? *ops ok terkurang sopan.... hehe..
i'm feeling very wonderful today ^________________^ why? 'cause i get to walk around kk!!!! *yea.. no one gives a (not gonna say the word) but still :) i'm happy.... rasa bahagia bila dapat jalan2 ke mana saja kaki melangkah. apalagi bila bersendirian. tak payah terikat dengan kerenah orang lain. i'm a free man! *i mean girl. seperti biasanya sudah pasti destinasi pertama pada hari ahad ini ialah gaya street! malangnya, aku tidak bertemu dengan benda yang dihajatkan. tapi tak pa lah, yang penting dapat makan rojak kun hin.... hoho~~~~~~
then i went to suria. sampai di suria mak suruh pegi daiso cari cebisan ikan kering yang orang selalu letak atas takoyaki tu and thank goodness i found it. and i did buy a cap too 'cause its smokin hot out there and the sun was burning me *figuratively. selesai shopping, pegi melepak di perpustakaan. tetiba ilham datang so i made a song. well, technically just plain lyrics 'cause i couldnt think of the melody yet.
perjalanan diteruskan dengan berjalan kaki hingga ke CP and i watched BRICK MANSION there. and it was AWESOME~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ especially that french-latino(if im not mistaken) guy yang sangat amazing fighting scene dia ^^ so, rm7 was worth it.
for the first time ever, i got lost trying to find a bus to go back to likas!!!!why??? sebab semua lokasi bas berubah selepas terminal wawasan ditutup untuk dibaik pulih!!! cuba untuk tidak menunjukkan muka panik supaya tiada orang yang mengambil kesempatan atas kesempitan aku. agak seram jugak la... mujurlah dapat menumpang dengan sorang kawan ni. nasib baik diorang pun kebetulan balik dari kerja and i safely landed here at home *i mean my aunt's home.
konklusinya, walaupun tersesat-sesat sekejap mencari jalan pulang, i had a great time! sekurang-kurangnya dapat lupakan semua kekusutan yang ada sekejap. *i lied. i think about it all the time... lol.. but anyway, aku perlahan-lahan belajar menerima hakikat yang tidak semua benda akan terjadi sesuai dengan yang aku inginkan. mungkin di kemudian hari ia akan jadi lebih baik daripada apa yang aku harapkan. cuma sekarang belum masanya. well, as the saying goes, Allah is never late, He's giving things at the right time ;) so i believe my 'right time' has not arrived yet, and therefore i will wait and won't waste my time bersungut dan merungut tak tentu pasal about what happen yesterday. and the day before yesterday. and the day before it. and (the list goes on) whatever, you get the point.
THE END!
p/s: 'cause i'm happy lalalalalal~~~~ like a room without a roof~ laallalaalll~ *ok, failed jangan lupa lirik... hahah... chao!
Thursday, 8 May 2014
4
BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM...
Okay, after a few days of being such a wacko, loser, filled with so called sorrow and despair, and cried crazily like there's no tomorrow, I AM DONE!!!!!! I'm leaving all the memories. I am totally done! Erasing all unwanted data and bla bla bla~ Gonna have a new start, gonna live better than yesterday, gonna fly higher than before, gonna make them regret for tearing me apart! Hey, i've been through this before, and still, I am alive. So, that's a good thing. Cuma, kali ni proses melupakan agak mencabar sebab aku akan sentiasa terserempak dengan orang ni. As long as he is here in this stressful place! Urgh~
But still, bohong la kalau aku langsung x rasa sedih lagi kan... Scratches tetap ada. Macam kertas yang diremukkan, ko gosok balik guna seterika pun takkan sama macam yang baru. KO KENA BELI YANG BARU. Macam kaca yang pecah, cantumkan la dengan gam gajah, gam uhu, gam apa sekalipun takkan mampu kembali pada bentuk yang sempurna. KO KENA BUAT YANG BARU. Macam daun yang gugur, takkan mampu ko letak balik atas pokok and berharap daun tu hijau balik. KO KENA TANAM YANG BARU. Ok cukuplah macam-macam kan. You guys get the main idea. So, kesimpulannya, memandangkan hati aku ni penuh dengan scratches yang entah apa-apa, sadness yang sia-sia, aku KENA MINTA HATI YANG BARU. Exactly!
Dear Allah,
Please give me a new heart,
for this heart is filled with too many unimportant things and thoughts,
for this heart is filled with to much sadness that is not even because of I am afraid of You
for this heart is filled with memories which keep me apart from You
for this heart keeps reminding me of a person more than I remember You
ASTAGHFIRULLAH...
Allah,
Please give this servant of yours,
A new heart to always remember You more than anything else,
to always love You more and more each day,
to always cherish You here in my thoughts and my heart,
To always believe and realize that NO ONE or NOTHING could ever love me as much as You do.
I won't ask for more. 'Cause a new heart which is filled with Your blessings is all I need.
Thank You Allah for letting me breathe and live in this world to this very day and days ahead even after all the mistakes i've done (I hope InsyaAllah).
Syukur Ya Allah. For You always lift me up, each time I fall.
Eventhough I am not a good servant, I seriously am not. Thank You for giving me another chance, after all misdeeds I've done.
And the new beginning........ STARTS NOW.... :)
Okay, after a few days of being such a wacko, loser, filled with so called sorrow and despair, and cried crazily like there's no tomorrow, I AM DONE!!!!!! I'm leaving all the memories. I am totally done! Erasing all unwanted data and bla bla bla~ Gonna have a new start, gonna live better than yesterday, gonna fly higher than before, gonna make them regret for tearing me apart! Hey, i've been through this before, and still, I am alive. So, that's a good thing. Cuma, kali ni proses melupakan agak mencabar sebab aku akan sentiasa terserempak dengan orang ni. As long as he is here in this stressful place! Urgh~
But still, bohong la kalau aku langsung x rasa sedih lagi kan... Scratches tetap ada. Macam kertas yang diremukkan, ko gosok balik guna seterika pun takkan sama macam yang baru. KO KENA BELI YANG BARU. Macam kaca yang pecah, cantumkan la dengan gam gajah, gam uhu, gam apa sekalipun takkan mampu kembali pada bentuk yang sempurna. KO KENA BUAT YANG BARU. Macam daun yang gugur, takkan mampu ko letak balik atas pokok and berharap daun tu hijau balik. KO KENA TANAM YANG BARU. Ok cukuplah macam-macam kan. You guys get the main idea. So, kesimpulannya, memandangkan hati aku ni penuh dengan scratches yang entah apa-apa, sadness yang sia-sia, aku KENA MINTA HATI YANG BARU. Exactly!
Dear Allah,
Please give me a new heart,
for this heart is filled with too many unimportant things and thoughts,
for this heart is filled with to much sadness that is not even because of I am afraid of You
for this heart is filled with memories which keep me apart from You
for this heart keeps reminding me of a person more than I remember You
ASTAGHFIRULLAH...
Allah,
Please give this servant of yours,
A new heart to always remember You more than anything else,
to always love You more and more each day,
to always cherish You here in my thoughts and my heart,
To always believe and realize that NO ONE or NOTHING could ever love me as much as You do.
I won't ask for more. 'Cause a new heart which is filled with Your blessings is all I need.
Thank You Allah for letting me breathe and live in this world to this very day and days ahead even after all the mistakes i've done (I hope InsyaAllah).
Syukur Ya Allah. For You always lift me up, each time I fall.
Eventhough I am not a good servant, I seriously am not. Thank You for giving me another chance, after all misdeeds I've done.
And the new beginning........ STARTS NOW.... :)
Wednesday, 7 May 2014
3
NOW I KNOW... I am just someone you need when you feel lonely, when you feel boring, when there's no one to talk to. I'm just a hobby which you'll only remember during free time. You never even value me as someone special, to take care of, to protect. All you care about is yourself. It hurts. It really is. I trusted you. 'Cause i thought things might be different somehow than what happen previously in my life. Turned out to be, it is still the same. You destroyed everything. You ruined my trust, you lost my respect. And that easily, you just walked away from me... Like I am nothing... How could you.... :'(
p/s: you know what makes all this even harder, 'cause i've given my trust to you. now tell me how to wash off this feelings i have. get rid of it. i don't want it. :'( there you are, having the greatest time with your friends, and here i am, alone crying in the dark... once again. i know, i was wrong in the first place, to think that you need me that much. turned out to be, I AM NOTHING.
Sunday, 4 May 2014
2
"Don't give too much attention and care more than enough, 'cause when the person don't do the same, IT HURTS."
I seriously don't understand myself. What the **** is wrong with me???? This is the kind of lesson which i don't think I will ever learn!!!!!!! You should know better, wani. Ko pura-pura buta ka ni atau memang buta??? I really am mad at myself!!!!!!! Kenapa bha begini niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~ eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~ i never asked for too much :'(
just.............................. never mind... nobody understands anyway.
p/s: no matter how many tears i have wasted on you, still, you never seemed to care. I HATE YOU. But still I care. and I HATE THAT TOO.
I seriously don't understand myself. What the **** is wrong with me???? This is the kind of lesson which i don't think I will ever learn!!!!!!! You should know better, wani. Ko pura-pura buta ka ni atau memang buta??? I really am mad at myself!!!!!!! Kenapa bha begini niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~ eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~ i never asked for too much :'(
just.............................. never mind... nobody understands anyway.
p/s: no matter how many tears i have wasted on you, still, you never seemed to care. I HATE YOU. But still I care. and I HATE THAT TOO.
Friday, 2 May 2014
1
'ONCE YOU GO BLACK, YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK'
I am not sure whether it's the right thing to do. But they said being like this would hurt less. Am I ready, to be BLACK?
I am not sure whether it's the right thing to do. But they said being like this would hurt less. Am I ready, to be BLACK?
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